Sunny side down

The past few months can be summed up and expressed by my apparent aloofness and neglect, reflected through my noticeably absent blog posts. These months have been some of the most consuming moments aside from my college days, which used to be characterized by hoards of politically-minded theories, final exams, cigarettes, cereal runs, and late night trips to the gym. The sad part is that this utter consumption hasn't been due to anything cool like the study of natural resource law, or acts of human rights violations against China. I haven't been off taking artistic photographs, or traveling, or riding bicycles to ancient shrines. I haven't been saving and researching endangered species, or staring at naked Japanese butts, or digging my toes in black Costa Rican sand. No. I've been here. Here working my soul to steel, and resenting the fact that I haven't seen my friends or had a weekend off in months.

My job requires a lot of care and attention. A mere three of us run the department--book and reschedule groups, host overnight stays, coordinate and/or facilitate high adventure and team building activities, organize meals, prepare evening activities, drive oversized machinery, and pitch ourselves and the department 24-7 so that we can do it all over again. But it's wintertime. Things are starting to slow down. I have two days off this week and it is nice to sit around in my pajamas and play Ninja Gaiden Black on a caffeine and Grape Nuts buzz. I get to spend time with my family today--a sometimes rare occurrence--and possibly see a few friends tonight, who I haven't seen since September. But these aren't the only small and meaningful joys I've had these past few months, contrary to my overworked and frazzled mentality.

In September I had an absolute blast camping at Nelson's Ledges rock quarry for their annual Midwest Reggae Festival. Three days of reggae music, campfires, and friends was all that I needed to take my mind away. And at the beginning of October I was blessed to spend several days with Zach and his family in and around beautiful Traverse City, MI. Since then, we've spent time in Columbus, and Pittsburgh. I've had a job interview for an environmental fellowship position, and I've become an aunt.

Still, I am restless as I always seem to become. Down about the gray sky, and the leadership responsibilities I have to pick back up tomorrow. Don't know how I always seem to let myself become so defeated. It's an old song, and I am tired of singing it. Wish me luck with the continuing job hunt.


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