Showing posts from February, 2008

Love is an epidemic

Not going to make it; can't separate patience in the wake of this. Can't, can't keep it. Swallowing, hold it down, gag reflexes rubbing down smooth charcoal walls pumping stomachs, dispersing empty doldrums. I won't. Can't, can't defeat this. Music tearing through skulls like incoherent demons feeding on lost defeats; getting drunk off tears and tearing through ligaments once better suited for keeping up. I've out done myself, and still lost. Every fortified colly string package just lost and forgotten on doorstep, and efforts far beyond many, smashed like heads on pavement, protectionless. Like a cholera epidemic. Two lovers, loveless, tossed to the wolves of watersheds. Disheveled and bound to soaking beds, purging out every little parasitic fault, crawling on spotted skin.

... you're the reason I love losing sleep...

Change the station

My backyard is quiet tonight; highways are deathly silent. My camera lens flashing at unique falling holograms. Just mystified... no one left to share this [forest] with. Soundless white lace sticking on bearded giants. Do I hear crickets? I haven't heard crickets since... more memorable times before. But memory deceives me as of late... saddened. Heartbeat propped up like pear trees in the spring.

Thank you...

Hello Starling

You had your red rainslicker on
Your face was turned up into rain as you watched me
And I was crossing I was crossing
The street like my own Rubicon
Coming back home to ya coming back Rome
And your eyes were so patient and calm
And green as the grass that might grow on the 23rd Psalm
The last forty days have been rain
The sun is a prodigal one that seems bent upon
Giving itself a bad name
And leaving us deep in the lurch as we walked down the lane
It's a long time oh such a long time
And I hope for your sake I've changed
And I hope for my sake you managed to remain the same
Is it raining for you raining for you now
Like it's raining for me raining for me now
You tied your old bike to a tree
Came in from the weather though not yet together
I felt your hand light on my sleeve
As light as a bird that might offer a sinner reprieve
We don't know too much I know we don't know too much
But love rains mysteriously
And behind every cloud is a purpose only now we can see
That it's raining for …

Searching for positivity

Yeah... I think I got it, after a wonderful chat with a friend this evening about the balance and harmony of life.

I mastered it this summer; it was the closest I have ever been. The one time in my life I finally had it all figured out. I was totally in touch with the world, in touch with what I needed and desired. I learned tonight that just because you have it, doesn't me you can keep it. That can be said with anything of value. It always seems to find its way back though. By 'it' I mean the balance that we seek in our lives. I just needed a little reminding, that we are only capable of knowing that of which we think we know, and it's up us on how we utilize this. We control how the world affects us by harmonizing with it into a state that is pleasing to ourselves, or at least that is how it is meant to function in the most successful manner; balance.

Maybe I don't have the theory exactly right... but the positive connotations are at least present.

I can'…


My mom and I were at some old country park tavern, and she was waiting on something (my dad?), to have lunch. I told her I'd meet her there to give her $10 so she could get my dad a birthday present for me. He wanted strawberry chocolate covered almonds; my dad lacked all health knowledge, and ate too much fat as it was. I felt a little disgusted about it; judgmental as usual about everything everyone else was putting into their bodies.

I apologized to my mom for forgetting, after all, she had only reminded me 5 minutes before as I pulled into the parking lot; it was the only reason I was meeting here there. I walked right up without my wallet. I remember walking up to her knowing I needed something... money? 'Oh crap' I thought. She said it was ok; to give it to her later. I was used to it; always letting everyone down and being so forgetful. She had a bundle of kites on her back that were a gift from my dad for her Birthday (her Birthday too?? It must have been Ja…

"When our color dies...

... we will bury the ashes of time."

A light on a hill

That's no way to live
all tangled up like balls of string.
And we woke at dawn
and watched the sun glide over the hill.

I just said the first
three words that popped into my head.
Let me off the bus; I'm tired and soar and should probably change clothes.
And the circuits are blown,
my woman is cold,
our children are stoned and worthless.
All waiting for you to tell them the truth. The truth is a line, that you'll never use.

And her dignity
shown so bright like a light on a hill.
And she burned for me,
and no other man came near the flame.
And back country songs the defeaning twang of the rich-white-kid blues
You can own the stage,
but the lights and glares will not make you real.

She whispers to me, I was meant to be free.
This life that we've built is deadly.
She crawls from my bed, with a comb cross her head.
She crawls to the train and drives herself home