Origin Stories

by Safia Elhillo


1.

i was made out of clay out of time the quran says we began
as a single clot of blood & i keep digging the wound it’s warm inside
some things you lose to mark the time yes men of course but also
some hair handful of teeth is what i am told but all i lost
is a language but i keep quiet & no one can tell

2.

my grandmother tells me to shred dill
by hand she means to teach me patience she calls it length of mind

3.

i hear prayer called by a voice thick with something hurting
like a croak but i do not mean that it is ugly
it is dawn in khartoum & i am two days arrived everyone kisses
my cheeks & asks if i am returned or visiting & i think
they mean to be kind i sleep through gatherings & feel
there is too much blood in my body & that my name is my
name is my name is my name is

4.
in khartoum’s bright yellow morning my grandfather brings me
the season’s first mangoes & tells me it is time to come home
they are firm & green but on the inside all sunlight i use my hands
& spill the juice all down my front i fill my mouth & i do not answer