Life in Progress: Out of Order

Take 30.

I'd like to think that I dedicate no more than a reasonable amount of thought into wondering if I am living my life "out of order." You know, living haphazardly amongst the masses who have or are experiencing life through its modern progressive order, i.e. graduating from college, landing a career job, getting married, buying a house, having kids, going on family vacations, sending your kids off through those very same steps, and then retiring (happily ever after, at some point). I've only accomplished one of these things at the spry age of 30 and I feel pretty damn good about that, but I can't help to sometimes feel uneasy, like I am missing out on these magical connections people are having with each other.

Everyone assigns different values to their idea of 'success', and for many, perhaps it follows that same sort of set guidelines described above as personal margins of accomplishment. I'm almost certain that when my childhood expectations for adulthood weren't met by my assigned age of 26, I naturally became jaded by the very idea that I was ever going to reach my goals set forth as a pre-teen. What was I even basing my fictitious disappointment on, anyway? I'd graduated from college, I'd traveled half way around the world, I had a supportive family and great friends. And for almost the entire duration of my mid- late 20s, I continued to feel like I was left out of those plans, and had missed that train, forever.

I think many people that I know feel this way without realizing why--even the ones that have found career status, financial success, and someone to spend the rest of their life with. It wasn't until about a year ago that I realized that it wasn't the order that mattered, and that margins of success were limitless and clearly muddled by the revelation that most people were overstressed, unhealthy, unhappy, tired, and bored with their lives. For me, it's been painful to see (these hardships that people are experiencing everywhere) and the realization of its truth made me feel slightly guilty once I realized that all of these years I have been happier than almost everyone I know.

Four years ago, my goal stopped being to live for the happiness of others and to only live for the happiness of myself. Two years ago, my goal was to stop being so selfish and to love everyone. One year ago, I worked on finding the balance between those two things. And today, I am confident about my decisions, my relationships, my input and effort into others' lives; my ability to listen, explain and understand. Most importantly, I am confident in the order I have chosen to live my life.

Comments

Wait till u hit 40life is all about living the way you want and not giving a crap if others don't approve.
:) a sense of accomplishment is in the eye of the beholder. Its the morals and principles that are behind your accomplishments that create a feeling of happiness. In my eyes its important to regularly remember these accomplishments that you know are true in your heart, for they are pieces to a timeline which has no order;)

Live your life as if your writing a poem to yourself, success is reached when you realize its coming out dam beautifully!



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