Something you probably don't know about me: I used to be fearful of the deep blue sea. I used to visualize myself in those underwater capsules, mesmerized by the deep's bioluminescence--jellyfish, giant squid, anglers. I wanted to see it all in an underwater silent dance in blackness so unpenetrable and unseen. I wanted to be that girl. Can you believe I am going to be that girl?

I have waited a long time for this, but I never anticipated the pressure from the earth as the sky and the water lay heavy on soul. I never anticipated it's magnitude and it's greatness. Not this way. Last week I began my first sessions of PADI scuba certification. As of this past Friday, I am finally a certified PADI scuba diver.

Saturday I had a rough time equalizing my sinuses. But once on the bottom, I was in a pressure box of heaven. Nurse sharks, stingray, juvenile stripped angels, cobias. Breathing underwater is much different and I thought my athleticism would overpower the group, but there were moments when sitting still that I really felt the reality of the world sinking down on top of us. I believe that the most successful divers are the ones that can separate this thought and the beauty that glides in front of mask. But after my forth dive, I was a pro.

The feeling was glorious. I was free. Seventy-two feet down petting stingray and looking into sunken shipwrecks is serene. Danny caught a slipper lobster and Wendy got over her fear of rough seas (mostly). After it was all said and done, we floated on top of the water in the middle of the ocean waiting for the dive boat to pick us up, and I looked down below and realized, there is no reason to be afraid. This is my profession; my heart. And I'm never leaving this place.


_erica said…
The emotions I'm feeling after reading this are incredible. It's so great to see and feel your soul again. My god, I'm so incredibly happy for you.

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