Honey, now if I'm honest...

I'm back to running again, and running great I am. This also means that I am back to writing mental blogs, and promptly forgetting them as soon as I return back to doorstep. Not that they are always the kind of blogs that need to be or should be shared, but I think in forgetting them, it has given me some much deserved time to turn over any questioning or doubtful thoughts I have had this past weekend.

In the beginning, I was feeling like I had begun to tumble back into a long road of progress, erased, but I see now that I am reacting much like any time new ideas, opportunities, or emotional distresses are thrown my way. I just have to take some time; learn to deal. Tumbling over all possibilities and outcomes until I land on top of what will be best for me. These have always been my struggles, but being alone has given me the experience in making choices that only inevitably effect myself. And I guess that is the way it should be... most of the time.

I had taken some time a few fortnights ago to write a wonderful tribute blog to the reasons I love the ocean so much; the reasons why I have chosen for this place to be my home over any other place in the world. And I spoke of the ocean like it was my sister, or my soulmate, and that coming here to make a difference really was my duty at this stage in life. And wonderful things really have happened since I made it. Wonderful things like my part in an ocean ecology camp through FIU where I get the chance to show kids just how wonderful their home really is, for reasons other than flying kites on the beach and body surfing in the tide. It's great to know that there are people in the community not only interested in learning marine science at such a young age, but that there are also people just as passionate about these causes as I.

Aside from this opportunity I have to impression young, inspiring marine biologist, I also landed an opportunity in the Gulf. A whimsical type chance combined with new life motions and motivations. I had found myself reaching, seeking for a chance to relieve the monstrosity that is currently poisoning our oceans... 79 days strong. And I turned over and over in my head the consequences--the human health issues associated with this massive Deepwater Horizon Oil Spill project. Health issues, like respiratory problems, severe headaches, nausea, nose bleeds, and in severe cases, central nervous system problems, or damage to blood, kidneys or livers. But what about the other losses? How could I let these risks filter through my head, or my beef with BP stop me from doing what I felt was stitched in the marrow of my bones. I can't. And when I get the order, I am going to the Gulf. Come hell, high water, or hurricanes.

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