The Other Con

|kän| |kɑn| |kɒn|
1 : persuade (someone) to do or believe something, typically by use of a deception; swindle
2 : a disadvantage
3 : a convict

I am currently working on another blog bearing much higher priority and interest, but I insist on informing my readers (I have readers, right?) of a well-known product consumer scam known as Proactiv. It would be a waste of fury for me to tell you not to bother purchasing this product because it doesn't work. That would be a subjective statement that I care not to impose the responsibility. What I want to rant about is that those two innocent and intellectual-looking, hot doctors are only in it for the money, and I guess we could have figured as much. So with one curious purchase of Proactiv, you are placed on a renewal list that automatically charges your credit card each month and sends you a brand new order quicker than that adolescent teenager can squeeze that monster pimple all over the bathroom mirror. Sorry for the graphic analogy, but it's true! Unless you catch the small print at the bottom of your bill that says your new order will be shipped by said date and mailed to you on said date, then you will have no idea of this occurrence until said package arrives on said doorstep. This means that if the product didn't work before, not only is it not going to work this time, but your bank account will feel the additional -$20 blunt trauma as well. All you have left to do is return the products and hope to god that you get your refund. I know, it's only $20 (really $20x2), but that is exactly the kind of attitude they are hoping for, multiplied by the thousands of other new Proactiv suckers those two "doctors" have wrangled in, while flaunting their conservative white blouses and lab coats. Bitches...

Just to clear the air, I did not get stuck with a second order. I saw the print three weeks subsequent to receiving the package in my desire to return a product that hasn't done squat. I can buy over-the-counter face washes with a ridiculously higher amount of benzyl peroxide than these wiener renewing cleansers. So I called India and cancelled my unauthorized second order, and asked how to utilize their '100% satisfaction guarantee, or your money back' claim. He told me how to go about doing so, and then he said I wouldn't see results for two months and that I needed to wait until after two months time so that the product could take full effect. I told him that was ridamndiculous, thanked him for canceling my order, and rummaged around this mess of a basement for my invoice. On the back of my invoice I found that it states "products must be returned 60 days prior to purchase". @#$%^&*! It's fine... I am returning it today before the 60 day time limit. I am just angry for all the other people who genuinely seek help and compassion from this bastard of a company.


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